Thursday, February 15, 2007

25 Days of Oscar: Day 11

To avoid all the unpleasant hoopla from ravenous fans that inevitably attends any public appearance, I'll be going to the Oscars this year in this nifty disguise. If you spot me, please keep your wits about you and approach me quietly--as my homey Kevin Federline says, the pazaratti are a bitch.

Also: I've been enjoying Left in the Dark: Portraits of San Francisco Movie Theatres, by R. A. McBride, on display now at the inimitable Balboa.

Monday, February 12, 2007

25 Days of Oscar: Day 14, (i think)

Sorry I've been neglecting my duties here. I haven't posted in the past week because my mom got bitten by a spider, then photographed for Playboy, in that order (although the two events were unrelated), and what with all the graduate theses she has to read she hasn't had time to transcribe for me. I wish she'd just quit with the whole teaching and writing thing and devote every moment to me, because really, I mean, I'm OSCAR.

On CARS:
Personally I think that CARS begins with too much sturm and drang, but it gets highly watchable when it settles down into the whole small-town thing, little cars with big dreams. Also a good soundtrack, what with Rascal Flats singing LIFE IS A HIGHWAY and James Taylor doing OUR TOWN, with Chuck Berry's Route 66 thrown in for good measure.

On CURIOUS GEORGE:
The scholastic DVD, which features simple a simple voice-over narration to accompany stills of the pictures from the book, is much better than the Curious George movie, which lacks the charm of the original drawings. I once went to a mall in Corte Madera to audition for a voice part in the movie, but ended up not auditioning because it was crowded and I got restless, but I did get to take home a swanky yellow hat. Lest someone (whom we shall not mention by name)see her dreams of stage-mothering wither and die, I'll be modeling later this month for Laurenn McCubbin and Michelle Tea's new graphic novel, CARRIER...and in a sweet twist of fate, I'll be dressed as a monkey.

25 Days of Oscar: Day 14, (i think)

Sorry I've been neglecting my duties here. I haven't posted in the past week because my mom got bitten by a spider, then photographed for Playboy, in that order (although the two events were unrelated), and what with all the graduate theses she has to read she hasn't had time to transcribe for me. I wish she'd just quit with the whole teaching and writing thing and devote every moment to me, because really, I mean, I'm OSCAR.

On CARS:
Personally I think that CARS begins with too much sturm and drang, but it gets highly watchable when it settles down into the whole small-town thing, little cars with big dreams. Also a good soundtrack, what with Rascal Flats singing LIFE IS A HIGHWAY and James Taylor doing OUR TOWN, with Chuck Berry's Route 66 thrown in for good measure.

On

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

25 Days of Oscar: Day 20

Oscar's take on the folks running the half-marathon that ended at Golden Gate Park this weekend:
So many people running great highway!

Oscar's take on the guy driving the John Deere to gather the carts at Costco:
Tractor driving so many cars.

Oscar's take on Clement Street on a Saturday night:
Drivers so messed up everywhere.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

25 Days of Oscar: Day 22

Oscar isn't quite 33 inches tall yet, which poses a problem at the theater. Here's Oscar's tip for not falling through through the hole at the back of those tricky movie theater seats:

Position your bottom at the very edge of the seat. Eventually, you'll become so engrossed in the movie that you'll forget the precariousness of your seating arrangement, and you'll feel yourself falling backwards. This is a good time to lean forward--hold on to your cheerios with your knees!--and grab the armrests for support. If all else fails, call for mama as the seat begins to fold. She's probably asleep, because she's sure not getting any sleep at night, but if you make enough noise she'll eventually hear you and come to your aid.

Oscar's story of the day:
Once upon time, far away, this tractor drive all cars.

Friday, February 02, 2007

25 Days of Oscar: Day 24

Movie popcorn according to Oscar:

Take your leftover popcorn home and put it in the salad spinner! The crazy thing is, the popcorn starts at the bottom of the bowl, but after you activate the spinning action, it's on the sides. Good for half an hour of entertainment.

Plus: Oscar's sentence of the day:
Sometimes dada help Oscar climb wall.
Strong contender for sentence of the day:
Every motorcycle goes downhill!

Thursday, February 01, 2007

25 Days of Oscar Begins Today!

In honor of the Oscars, Oscar will be posting daily for the month of February. Since he's only two and can't type yet, I'll be transcribing.

Here's Oscar's take on Charlotte's Web, his first "big boy" movie, which he saw last month (twice!) at the Balboa in San Francisco.

Lil' piggie talking spider.
Moon!
Piggie crying.
Scary guy! Scary guy! (this is a reference to the scarecrow, which apparently is scary)
Spider get down! Spider get down!
Lil' piggie home.
Spider?

That last line's a pretty adept take on death, don't you think?

Thursday, November 09, 2006

23 months and counting

First sentence, sometime back in October:
I like baseball.
(Responding to Kev's question, "Which do you like better, baseball or football?"

Second sentence:
I see moon (October 25)

Since then:
Lady drive big mail truck.

Da-da pet bear. (in response to my explaining one day at the zoo that Oscar can't pet the bear, because it's dangerous).